Mission of Service for Steve Murray

Action in the World:

Boot Camp For New Dads is a two part series. We meet with about-to-be first time dads and take them thru an exploration of the tradition of fatherhood and its links with the masculine world and community. They examine how they were fathered and compare this to how they intend to do the same or different in their new family. In Boot Camp for New Dads, brand new dads (‘Veterans’) who have previously attended bring their babies to share with fathers-to-be (‘Rookies’) where they are now and how they got there. The about-to-be dads hear about the baby’s ability to release their capacity to love on a previously unimagined scale. They learn to feel the essential nature of their contribution and the sense of commitment that comes from that awareness. They learn how to anticipate a surrendering during the birth process so that it becomes, for them, an 'initiatory experience'. One of the greatest values of the Boot Camp For New Dads is in the placing of the participants in the role of ‘teachers’. This makes each man feel that he personally holds a piece of the puzzle and is valuable as a member of a community of males that can both restore fatherhood knowledge and wisdom that is currently unavailable as well as meet the challenges brought about by situations never before encountered by society. In the second part the men are invited back to return the gift that they received from the 'Vets' of their previous meeting. As you can see, this is not the dads version of 'Baby Basics' Although we do speak of such things, as we say about the diapering, etc: "That's expected".
Incarcerated Dads Group: 
The format of the Fatherhood Coalition's Incarcerated Dads Group resulted from the realization that for many fathers who are separated from their children, the connection to their kids tends to fade over time.  It requires more commitment to continue fathering from a distance and for all but the most determined, discouragement can set in and eventually result in doing for & thinking about their kids less and less.  For this reason the program is based upon fathering actions actually performed while incarcerated rather than the usual information & support.
 Upon entering the program, each man is given a certificate, which lists ten 'Actions' that fathers regularly perform (said to be taken from the 'Fathers Operator's Manual'). The challenge is to find a way to be an active father under any circumstances. Ideally, there would be a meeting to discuss each Action but since the jail population is in such flux, each action is checked off with a rubber stamp signifying that it was witnessed by the group facilitator who signs his name at the bottom upon completion of the first task.